How to Leave the House


It’s Natwest’s last day before he leaves for university, and there’s only one thing on his mind: the deeply embarrassing package he ordered to his house – which still hasn’t arrived. He won’t leave town without it. Any alternative is too distressing to consider …

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How to Leave the House

This is the story of twenty-four hours in the life of NATWEST, and his small-town odyssey in pursuit of the missing package. And yet it’s also the story of a MIDDLE-AGED DENTIST who dreams of being a respected artist – but the only thing he can seem to paint is the human mouth. And it’s the story of a TORTURED IMAM involved in a quasi-romantic entanglement with the local vicar; and an OCTOGENARIAN mourning the death of her secretive husband; and a TROUBLED TEENAGER whose nudes have leaked on the internet. It’s the story of Natwest’s obnoxious EX-BOYFRIEND, and his CLASS-TRAITOR MOTHER and¬†her¬†CHILDHOOD BOYFRIEND, and the life-changing secrets he knows about Natwest’s past.

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